TRUTH HURTS

let us welcome morning.

coolness and stillness in the air.

and i really don't know why i'm having sleepless nights.

maybe i really can't sleep.

or something else occupies my mind.

i was actually happy a moment ago but suddenly got angry shortly after.

mood swings.

but what triggered this is from an online conversation with my friend just now.

the more i think about it, the more i feel betrayed.

it stabbed me right in the heart.

for a moment of hurtness, i couldn't digest the truth.

to think that i had been led on.

yet i'm beginning to understand more things.

they all fall into one big picture.

they all fit in beautifully yet there's more to it.

the initial picture i knew, is no longer a complete picture.

for i know there is always a bigger picture behind it.

and i've yet to find out the WHOLE thing.

oh well, right now i'm just feeling disappointed.

cos i've found out what i'm supposed not to know.

but it aint a very bad thing through.

however i just cant help it as i'm related to it indirectly.

it had happened last year yet it seems like years since i learnt the truth.

my illusion had been leading me on all this while.

i don't know whether to smile or cry.

smile that it had happened and move on.

cry for i had been led on.

it's obvious that most peeps would choose the former option for me.

but i truly feel so betrayed and i'd rather opt for the latter.

perhaps i let myself be betrayed unknowingly when i was indulging myself in illusion.

only until today, i was shaken outta my illusion.

i thought i knew everything.

but i was terribly wrong.

is it worth knowing the truth?

the truth always hurts.

i had been deceiving myself unknowingly.

let me be sad for now.