DEEP SORROW

i was pressing enter and backwards in this entry just to stare at that scrollbar going down and up.

i know i'm depressed now.

even numb too.

i even don't know what is love anymore.

i have no more faith anymore.

i clung onto every glimmer of hope, having a feeling of possiblity to make it happen.

it seems so near yet so far...

you seem to drift away from me

remember the first time we met

you had plenty of time for me in the world

a few years later, you had no time for me in the world

no matter how hard i try to shake it off

i can't stand not being able to chat with you for all the time in the world

once our world

now my world alone

you won't even be an ordinary friend of mine even if we depart one day

why are you so cruel

i'm willingly to see you as my friend after we depart

yet you were firm

i just don't see the need to

on top of that, you even had no good reason for it

why must you run away from it

i just can't see it your way

for there's nothing to understand

in fact you were the one who i very much wanted to confide in

yet you are so distant despite our short distance

you were the one who i had ever dreamt of sharing my life with

yet you seem far away to share happiness with me

you were the one who i hold so dearly to

yet you broke my heart time again and again

you were the one who i really wanted

yet you had to make me hate you and love you at the same time

i was left stranded alone by you

weeping non-stop

never knowing when it will stop

why is it that you were never there for me

you were always buried in work

work seems more important than my heart

i'm sorry to say all these

but i really hate this

i only want to feel appreciated

just a simple message of romantic words from your heart will make me happy

to show me that you had been appreciating me all along

however i can only feel your hostility towards me whenever you were in anger

without hesitation

you shot me right in my fragile heart mercilessly

i was dead for good.

never to come back to you alive when you really need me.