MY SPEECH

a good afternoon to everyone.

let me deliver an informal speech here.

for the past three days, i had been crying non-stop as i was really heart-broken.

everything of me changed totally.

which i thought to be for good.

i would cry alone in a corner, usually in my home toilet spot, buried in isolation.

i had wanted someone to be there for me who was never there for me.

and that someone is none other than the person who i love very much.

what triggered my heart to be broken was simply his hostility towards me whenever he is angry.

in fact he had repeated that many times - angry, hostility towards me, breakup, left me alone, then finally to come back to me after some time.

yeah i'm serious it's a goddamned heart-wrecking cycle.

i let myself sink into depression for few days till i woke up to feel much lighter today.

i honestly don't know why.

perhaps i had been crying my heart out for past few days already.

and today embarks a new life for me despite i'm not officially apart with him.

i smiled for the first time with my heart.

i was suddenly enlightened after having went through the painful process which seemed a long heavy torture.

i realized that i had let it go.

guys, who was once in the same plight as me, do go through the torture first for it's the most important process to enlightenment of the heart.

my dear friend, bee, warned me about having relapses such as having the sad feeling back after some time.

thank you for sharing this with me; i really appreciate you.

so let's see if i will have a relapse later but i truly doubt it as i no longer feel anything towards it.

*smiles*

yes, i'm a happy person now.

even if he wants to leave me for good and never be my friend, i'll be more than glad to let him go.

he can find a better happiness then.

i believe i had been his only happiness all along.

however there is always another better happiness waiting for him somewhere.

if i were to make the decision, i'll keep him untill he finds a better happiness.

i know some of you may be wondering why i'm thinking that way.

it's simply because i really love him from the bottom of my heart that i want to give him happiness until he finds a better one.

he aint a bastard in my eyes but a beautiful dark angel who conceals his kind heart and appear hostile.

i aint appearing noble or whatever.

it's what i truly feel.

love is the strongest drive of force when it exists in the heart.

i once lost faith in love, but now i built my own love and planted faith inside it.

thank you everyone for listening.